Preparing for Your Birth

about 35 weeks pregnant with my daughter in 2023

Congratulations! You are expecting a baby and perhaps it still feels surreal but you are here - reading how to best prepare for birth. Maybe you did some research already, maybe you have experience from previous births and you're seeking change, or maybe you know nothing at all. Whichever category you fall into, this information may be useful all the same.

Looking for information may be confusing. Internet and social media are filled with thousands of articles, podcasts and videos, many representing different approaches entirely. Finding your way in the maze may be exhausting. Because how do you know what is the most useful, evidence based and "the best"? Or, perhaps, even more important question - How do you know what is "the best" for YOU?

Because if there is one thing I would like to share with you here is this: When it comes to birth, there is no one size fits all. No technique, position, or tool that worked on everyone. When it comes to the antenatal education and birth preparation the question should never be what's the best, it should always be what's the best for me.

Birth is just as unique as each and every one of us, and as each of our bodies. What worked for our sisters and friends, will not necessarily work for us. The "10 tips for a painless birth" and "This is what you should do if you want to have an amazing birth" kind of articles conveniently do not mention that nothing ever is guaranteed. Positive birth experience cannot be promised. But its likelihood can be increased - and here we talk about how.

1) Listen to Your Body

Notice how your body relaxes at home, in a safe environment, among your trusted friends or/and your partner. And then think how it tenses up in unknown spaces, when surrounded by strangers. Your body sends you signals multiple times a day. Before your brain is able to process information, your body already knows. We often call it a feeling. "I've got a feeling that...", "My instinct is telling me..." - these are not just cliché phrases, they are the signals your body is ending you before the mind intervenes. And listening to your body means learning to notice those signals. During your pregnancy and birth, it is them that will guide you through the experience. It is thanks to your body you will know if everything goes well, or that perhaps you need additional support. It is therefore crucial to start your birth preparation by actively cultivating and deepening the relationship you have with your body. This is what eventually will increase your confidence, trust in your birthing process and therefore a higher chance of a peaceful birth.

2) Get to Know Your Options

Many of us approach birth thinking of it as a medical event in which we are fully dependant on midwives and doctors, with no say of our own. We accept procedures and let the decisions be made for us because we don't know that the decisions are ours to be made. We don't know that no is a full sentence or that asking for research and statistics should be normalised. Even more - we don't know that there are many ways a person can give birth and we can choose them according to our wishes. So the next step to prepare for a positive birth experiences would be to learn about a) where you can give birth, b) your trust policies, c) your birth rights, d) types of pain relief in labour - with its advantages and disadvantages, e) types of intervention that may happen in birth, f) physiological birth vs induction vs caesarean, and then see how you feel about each of the options. Remember - you can only make informed decisions if you know the whole picture.

3) Have a Partner Chat

This may seem like a detail but trust me - your partner's approach can significantly impact your birthing experience in either direction. Maybe it is worth asking yourself - is my partner supportive? Will they stand for my choices even despite their own process and anxiety? Do they see eye to eye with me when it comes to my pregnancy and birth? Will their presence in the birthing room be soothing/beneficial/supportive? If you have even a shadow of doubt about any of these questions, it probably means you would benefit from an open and honest conversation about your expectations. Talk with your partner about your choices, their fears and anxieties. Involve them in birth preparation, tell them how they can support you best. Send them useful articles, podcasts and information. Encourage them to do their own research and finally - create a birth plan together. Just so when the day comes, you approach the experience as a team.

4) Consider Hypnobirthing Course / Pregnancy Classes / Antenatal Ed

Find out about classes and offerings in your area, see which of them matches your expectations. Attending pregnancy classes/birth preparation in a group setting is a beautiful way to unwind, relax, find answers to pressing questions, learn supportive techniques for labour and connect with other expecting couples that are on the same journey. In places like this, you will be listened to, supported and reassured in your pregnancy and birth journey. And quite possibly you will also make new friends that will stay with you well past the duration of the class!

5) Plan Your Birth and Your Postpartum

Think of the moment you planned your wedding or a big family celebration. You probably spent weeks or even months assigning roles, figuring out the smallest details from the seating plan to the type of flowers in the lobby, to the dietary requirements of each guest. You were prepared for anything - the heat, the rain, even the catering not turning up. You had plan A, plan B, often plan C. And when the big they arrived you could take a deep breath and enjoy it, because you knew that all was taken of.

Now think of your birth. A single most life altering experience in your life. The day in which you bring life into the world and become a mother. And then the time after - learning the new routine, feeding, newborn care, sleep patterns. How much time would you dedicate to prepare for those?

Because you see, weddings and big celebrations may have rehearsals but birth doesn't. Your first birth experience is not a trial run. Contrary to the popular belief, birth is not something that you should just "go with the flow" about. Planning your birth and planning your postpartum may immensely contribute to your experience, your communication with your partner, and your team. Similarly like with any other plan, it is about your yesses and no's, your likes and dislikes, the roles you assign and voicing the support that you need.

6) Consider Hiring a Doula

Research shows that having a doula improves birth outcomes, decreases the intervention rates and reduces stress and anxiety. Doula does not replace your partner, instead she works alongside them, making sure that your birthing space is adequately taken care of and that you are as comfortable as possible. Doulas can help you with birth preparation, body work, setting up the space, emotional and physical support during labour and postpartum. Most importantly - their loyalty lies with you as their client, and not with the system, which means they do not respond to policies and protocols but to you, your wishes, your decisions and your needs.

Nobody can promise you a beautiful birth. The journey to positive birth experience starts with you, your body, your choices and how deep are you willing to meet yourself. Learning how the birth works, relaxation techniques and supportive movement can be very beneficial, when you can recognise the subtle cues that your body sends you, when you can define your choices, when you learn to communicate your needs - especially with your partner and/or doula so that later they can advocate for you effectively. Setting yourself for a positive experience is learning how to let go, surrender and receive, how to ride the waves whilst being able to recognise what you need to proceed. It may seem scary and overwhelming at first but it doesn't have to be. In fact, you can start very simply by taking a pause. Sit comfortably in a quiet space, close your eyes, turn your attention to your breath, and just listen - what is it that your body is telling you? As you go, try deepening your breath, prolong your exhales, acknowledge the thoughts that come and let them go. Observe your body relaxing, your muscles softening, your breath slowing down.

And when you open your eyes ask yourself - when was the last time I sat with myself?

All the best in your pregnancy journey,

Weronika x

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Are you looking for a heart-led, mother-centred pregnancy, birth, and postpartum support?

I now offer doula support for 2026 with a last space remaining for September 2025, as well as pregnancy relaxation classes in Belper, birthing workshop in Derby and hypnobirthing courses 121 and online. Reach out to ask any questions or book via the website.